How to deal with a long commute

Do you have a long commute to work? Are you wondering how you will deal with this change? Perhaps these tips will help you.

I had a commute of 1 hour 10 minutes spread over between 2-4 buses per trip every day until I moved closer to work. However, now my husband has a similar commute for him to get to work with our new house so I decided to write down all of my tips that I learned over the past three years.

The best tip that I can give you is to think of this time as "me" time. We call it my husband's "reading hour" instead of the word "commute". We are adding a positive connotation to this particular time of day instead of thinking of it negatively. I know that when I first started this long commute I thought that it was a terrible time waster but then I learned how to knit. Now, I can't do without that hour to and from work every day because it's the only time that I knit during the day. Talk about a positive turn around!

Our other tips include:

• Listen to audio books or read a book. Buy all of the books that you've been saying that you want to read (I found all of mine second hand) and read them one by one. When I lived in Montreal I read over 29 books in two years while commuting on the metro - I kid you not.
• Listen to music
• Play games on a portable mobile device like an mp3 player, if you have one
• Listen to the radio on your portable mobile device. You may find that you really get into certain programs that play during this time.
• Listen to learn a language CDs to perfect another language
• Listen to podcasts on your mp3 player or smartphone
• Watch a movie on your smartphone, if it has video capability.
• If you know someone in the bus, sit with them and talk. You may develop a really good friend!
• Read a magazine or even better - save your magazines that come in the mail for this specific time instead of reading them as soon as you get home. 
• Read the newspaper. My husband downloads the newspaper to his portable device every morning and reads his newspaper online every day. This saves a lot of paper for us and keeps him sane.
• Check your social networks on your mp3 player, if you have downloaded the apps for that. Just like the magazine, you could reserve this time as the only times that you check them
• Carpool with work friends and talk.

2012: The Greatest Year Ever

I've been doing some research on how to have the best year ever. This post and the 12 that follow will be a list of the best things to do each month of the year. Are you wondering which is the best month to get your coats dry-cleaned? Or what is in season when? I can never remember so this will be a learning lesson for myself as well. Hopefully this is useful to many people so that we can all have the best year ever.

• January
• February
• March
• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September
• October
• November 
• December

(I will add the links once the post is done).

The 2012 Experiment

Well, here comes the end of 2011 and the start of a new experiment. Last year was so successful that I want to do it again so here is my list of items that I want to start or accomplish in 2012. This is shaping up to be a big year as we have some big changes coming: car, baby, house.

Health and Nutrition:

• Stop drinking pop and any sugary bottled drinks at all costs. Take water instead. 
• Follow Clean Eating meal plans and grocery lists.
• Work on my fruit, vegetable and fibre goals. 
• Continue my walk/run workouts until I can run for 30 minutes with no problems. 
• Get down to a BMI of 26 (that is a total of 20 pounds). 

 Fashion:

• Make my wardrobe 100% wearable. 
• Get the staples for my wardrobe (brown leather shoes, etc.) that I am missing.
• Get some more fashionable shoes. 

 Finances:

• Get a car. 
• Save money for a down payment on a house -- and buy one by December 2012. 
• Start buying baby things.

 Baby:

• Start trying for a baby. 
• Finish green knitted baby blanket for myself. 
• Start making baby things as part of my hobbies: wipes, nursing cover, nursing pillow and cover, baby hat and booties, etc. 

Travel:

• Visit my home for a wedding in June and Christmas in December. 
• Visit my husband's family for Easter and Thanksgiving. 
• Save money for a trip to Germany, Austria and Hungary in 2013 or 2014.

Social:

• Have movie nights once per month with friends. 
• Have themed dinner parties with friends, at least once every two months. 
• Watch a new movie every month (either at the theater, on TV or as part of movie nights). 
• Go out to dinner once a month with my husband on date nights. And every time, we can go to a new restaurant. 
• Find a cause in the community and start attending meetings or gatherings.

Hobbies:

• Finish any projects that I have started and don't start any new ones until those are done.

Home:

• Figure out what things we need for our new house: lawnmower, beds, furniture, etc.  

I will be continuing the goals that I set for myself in 2011 as well. Those are the In Progress and Unfinished ones in this list. 

Stessing about the "To Do" List

I'd like to think that I can get things done but sometimes I fall short of reaching my goals. I aim high ("I'm going to organize the entire storage room tonight!" or "I'm going to finish the entire craft bag today!") and sadly do not meet those goals. I have been giving this some thought though and here is what I came up with:

1. Is my goal too high? Am I aiming on doing everything in one evening or day? Perhaps I should break it down into manageable parts and get each of those done before moving forward.
2. Do I like keeping a "to-do" list, without actually doing it? I like having a list of things to do but that doesn't mean that I should do them. I just like to know that it is there.
3. Do I focus on the things that I'd like to get done instead of the priorities? Definitely. Ironing clothes versus stenciling something, guess what comes first.
4. Do I get angry at myself for not getting something done? Of course. Sometimes I crawl into bed then remember that I was supposed to do something that evening. Then I kick myself (figuratively) and make a mental note to do it tomorrow...and spend the rest of the night thinking about it. Is that really necessary?
5. Do I multi-task? All the time. I don't have the patience to wait on something to finish, so I start something else. Before I know it, I have 10 things on the go. I'm lucky if I can remember what I was doing from the beginning again.
6. Must I do it all myself? Are you guilt of thinking that you are the only one that can do it right, thus you must do it yourself?

What are some strategies to change this thinking?

I seem to be a person who loves a to do list. Seriously. I love having this immense list of things to do because it keeps my brain active. I am constantly thinking of things that I have to do although they are not necessarily in order by priorities. Here are some strategies that I will be trying to get things done:

1. Write it all down: open a Word document and write down the entire to-do list. Use only one document. Then, categorize it: priority (paying rent, ironing, laundry, etc.), work, upcoming events (ex. Christmas presents), hobbies, etc.
2. Do the priorities first: instead of stenciling something, I should focus on getting the laundry done. I mean, I will love a stenciled cup towel but I will need clothes to wear tomorrow. Besides, there is no reason that I can't stencil while the laundry is being done, a ha!
3. Pick action days: I like this idea from Get-it-Done Guy. Take a day (say, Saturday) and save the non-priority to do list for that day. Do the chores (develop pictures, pick up super glue, etc.) and then mow through anything else that needs to get done. Whatever gets done that day gets done but instead of focusing on what didn't get done, focus on what did.
4. Focus on one task at a time: that will be painful for me, but there are some things that can be multi-tasked (ex. dust living room while dishwasher is going) and some that cannot (ex. washing the car and mowing the lawn). I have started to stop myself whenever I have too many things on the go and I focus on one thing at a time. Instead of doing up Christmas cards over many nights, it did it all in two nights. Then it's done!!
5. Separate everyday tasks from other tasks: everyday tasks are the things like doing dishes, vacuuming and laundry versus re-organizing the storage closet, knitting a scarf, and mending a pair of socks. Make up a routine for the everyday stuff so that it gets done on a regular basis so that you can separate the two.
6. Stop thinking that you are the only one that can do it: I am very guilty of this kind of thinking. Sometimes I think that I should do it because I would do it better than someone else. However, I am learning to delegate tasks to someone else. This does mean letting go of some control but expecting to do everything myself is ridiculous. It might not be done the same way but (a) the task is done and (b) because it was done a different way I might have learned something that I hadn't thought of before.
7. Applaud the tasks that are complete instead of focusing on those that are not complete: so you didn't finish organizing the CDs tonight. Change your thinking and remind yourself that the task is half done. Or, focus on the long list of things that are now done instead of berating yourself on those that are not. Positive thinking is reinforcing and will lead to you getting more done.

What are some things that I have learned?

This year I was running an experiment on getting things done. I wrote down what I wanted to accomplish and worked on doing it. I got tired of saying "I will do this" and moved to a more affirmative position of "I will do this task this weekend". Here are some things that I learned:

1. Check in with the master to do list once per month: since I had written it down, I could check it off once the task was done and reread the list to see what I could now work on. After 12 months, the number of checkmarks is surprising -- and encouraging.
2. Accept that some things will never get done: I have good intentions on writing something down to do but that doesn't always mean that it will get done. It might. The list serves as a reminder. Some things are out of my control (ex. composting in Ottawa apartments hasn't arrived yet) and some things are (finish Christmas card list). Do what I can do, keep tabs on what I cannot.
3. Use the written list as a "brain dump": once it is written down, stop thinking about it. I used to cycle things around all day thinking "I really want to do this" or "This weekend I want to do this". Once it was written down, I wrote when I wanted to do it then emptied my brain of those thoughts. It relieved a lot of stress because now I can focus on other things (work, hubby, cooking supper, sleeping, etc.) without constantly reminding myself that I have to do something.
4. Put some obvious things on the to do list: for example, "Spending time with husband". It's funny how often an evening is spent just watching TV and we think that this counts as time together. No, time together is going out on dates and such. It seems obvious but once you write it on the list, it becomes more real.

15 Quick, Easy Meals

Are you having trouble getting supper together? Or perhaps you stand looking into the fridge wondering what to cook for supper. Here are 15 ideas (enough for 3 weeks of week-day suppers) for quick, healthy meals from my recipe book.

1. Chilled lentil salad: Open a can of lentils, drain and wash well. Add to a bowl. Chop up some fresh coriander and a two chopped tomatoes, add to bowl with lentils. Sprinkle with a little chopped onion and a little garlic powder, the juice from a lemon, salt and pepper, and some Parmesan cheese. Toss together and put in the fridge for a couple of hours beforehand.
2. Moroccan couscous: Heat up two cups of vegetable or chicken stock in the microwave until boiling. Once done, add one cup of couscous, let set for five min. Meanwhile, chop up some dried apricots and fresh coriander. Have some chopped walnuts and raisins ready, along with a chopped fresh tomato and a little olive oil. Once the couscous is ready, add all of this and fluff. Add salt and pepper. Serve on the side with cooked lamb or pork chops.
3. Indian Chickpeas: Open a can of chickpeas and drain, rinse off well. Add to an oven dish. Pour a bottle of low-fat Indian Butter Chicken sauce over top and put in the fridge over night to marinate. Take out of the fridge at least one hour before cooking (if possible), then roast at 375 degrees for about 45 min and serve over rice with steamed broccoli. The chickpeas can be replaced with cubed, thawed chicken as well. 
4. Shrimp and Asparagus stir-fry: Break off the woody ends of asparagus, chop into one inch pieces. Heat up a skillet with a little oil, then add some onion and garlic, sauté. While that is cooking, take the tails off of shrimp from a thawed shrimp ring. Add the asparagus, sauté until bright green. Add shrimp just to warm up. Add your favorite stir-fry sauce (soy sauce, teriyaki, sweet and sour, mushroom soup, etc.) then serve over rice.
5. Smoked Salmon Bagel Sandwiches: Toast a small multi-grain bagel, scrape some plain cream cheese on it while it’s still a little warm along with some fresh dill. Add a thawed slice of smoked salmon, two slices of tomato and a little lettuce on top.
6. Mexican bean salad: Open a can of black beans, drain and wash off. Add to a bowl. Do the same with a can of corn niblets, add to the bowl. Add a bottle of salsa (hot or mild) and some chopped coriander. Stir and let set in the fridge over night before serving, if desired.
7. Fusion rice: Heat up a skillet with a little oil. Add the rice and spice mix from a box of Dainty Indian rice with ¼ cup of water. Add chopped celery and chopped dried apricots. Sauté until liquid is absorbed, and if necessary add another ¼ cup water. Meanwhile, take the tails off shrimp from half of a thawed shrimp ring. Add the shrimp when ready along with some shredded carrot, sauté until shrimp is hot then serve.
8. Homey rice with ham: Open a package of Dainty chicken rice. Heat up a skillet and add the rice and spice pack. Add some frozen peas and chopped ham. Cook together, at the last minute add some shredded carrot and let that cook a little. Serve.
9. Calzone: Dethaw a piece of puff pastry. When soft, cut into two or three squares. Crack two eggs, but only keep the whites and have ready in a small bowl with a brush. Heat up the oven to 375. In the middle, add pepperoni, cooked sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms, etc. your fav pizza toppings and cheese. Brush the edges of the pastry with the egg wash and fold one edge onto the other to make a triangle package. Seal with a fork, brush the pastry with egg wash. Bake until golden brown, about 15 to 20 min in the oven.
10. Tomato-bacon pasta: Chop up an onion, a box of cleaned mushrooms, and about 7-10 chopped pieces of bacon (depending on your preference) on a cutting board. Clean a box of cherry tomatoes. Heat up a hot skillet, add the bacon. Cook down until reduced and starting to brown. Add the onions and mushrooms. Meanwhile, heat up water for pasta, one with nooks and crannies like macaroni or fusilli. When the pasta goes into the pot, set the timer for the cooking time. 5 min before the pasta is done, add the tomatoes to the bacon skillet and with a spoon, gently pop all of them. When the pasta is done, drain and add to tomato-bacon sauce. Toss well. Serve.
11. White pizza: Get a premade pizza crust and sauce from the grocery store. Preheat the oven to 375. On the crust, slather with Ranch dressing, except for the margin edges. Sprinkle lots of mozzarella cheese over top. Add some cooked crumbled bacon, sausage, chopped spinach and chopped tomato. Bake in oven until cheese is brown and the crust is golden brown around the edges, about 15-20 min.
12. Orzo Pasta Salad: Chop up some cleaned celery, tomato and a little onion. Add to a bowl of leftover orzo pasta, or any leftover pasta. Coat with some Greek salad dressing. Add chopped black olives and feta cheese if desired, stir together and let sit at least one hour before eating cold.
13. Mushroom beef, potatoes and veggies: Heat up a skillet and brown some thawed ground beef. While that is happening, chop up an onion, a couple cloves of garlic, and a box of mushrooms. Once the meat is mostly browned, drain off some of the fat and return to burner. Add all chopped ingredients and let soften. Add a can of cream of wild mushroom soup, mix together. Serve overtop of mashed potatoes and have something green like peas on the side.
14. Puréed vegetable soup: Boil a vegetable of choice (like cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, squash, carrot, parsnip, leeks, etc) in either chicken or vegetable stock with the addition of a clove or two of peeled garlic. Once the vegetable is cooked, add everything to a blender and purée until smooth. If it is too thick, add more chicken stock or even add some evaporated milk to make it a nice, creamy soup.
15. Sautéd Succotash: Chop up an onion. Heat up a skillet with a little oil. Drain a can of red kidney beans and dethaw 1 cup of corn. Wash the beans well. Add onion to skillet on medium heat, sauté. Add a little vegetable stock if liquid is necessary. Season with salt and pepper, let cook until the skins of the beans pop, about 10-15 min.

Dealing with Depression

Well, it's about time that I write about this. Many of you may not know this but back in 2007 until about 2009, I was in a mild depression. It was a dark period of my life that I don't look back on with happy thoughts at all. Actually, now when I think about it most of my thoughts center around how I got out of the depression. So here is my confession which I hope will help anyone else who is in a depression.

When I was depressed, I felt awful.

• I didn't want to get out of bed because I couldn't see anything good happening that day.
• I didn't want to leave the house for any activities. I was ashamed of the way that I looked and home was my comfortable place.
• I ate anything that made me feel better, hence the fact that I gained 55 pounds.
• I procrastinated on almost everything because I just didn't want to do anything other than sit, watch TV and eat. I only wanted to do things that made me happy.
• I spent money like there was no end to it. I spent it on things that made me happy like clothes, shoes, food and movies.
• I didn't want to cook or clean, so I ordered out a lot. Hence the weight gain.
• I didn't want anyone to take photographs of me because I felt bad about myself. And this is saying a lot because I am from a very photogenic family.
• I felt like I had no control over some aspects of my life so I tried to regain it. I cut my hair really short (then ended up hating it). I hated the fact that I wasn't done school yet and the fact that I couldn't change it.
• I didn't sleep well and my sleep habits were off the wall. I had stomach aches and other symptoms that appeared out of nowhere. I cried for no apparent reason and I was more emotional than normal. I didn't feel like myself in my own skin.
• I had stronger feelings of rage, anger, and sadness than I had ever had before. I cried over spilled milk on the floor, about a fly in my kitchen or I flew into a rage when I dropped paper on the floor. My emotions were much stronger than ever before. 

After a year, I found myself in a cycle: I was angry at myself so I wanted to feel better, I ate junk food to feel better, I gained weight, and then the cycle started again.

How do you make it end? How do you go back to feeling normal or happy? Well, I am not a doctor or therapist, but here is what I did. I wanted for the cycle to stop but I didn't know how to stop it.

Willpower

The first step is willpower. Have the will to change or stop a habit that was acquired. Start small. For example, if you are ordering often and eating junk food like I was, don't buy anything for one day. Just one day. Drink water, take fruit for snacks and cook supper. I felt awful and I really wanted to buy something but I forced myself not to. That first day is terrible because it didn't feel good thus I wanted to buy junk food more but once that first day was over, it seemed easier. Do it again.

You will need to replace bad habits with good ones to keep yourself happy. For example, my comfy blanket was junk food. I couldn't just take it away and expect for myself to be happy so I had to replace it with something healthier.

Happiness

Address what you are doing to make yourself happy. You know that some of the things that you are doing are not healthy (junk food, not leaving the house, constantly watching movies) so it's time to adopt a healthier happy habit. Find a healthy fruit that you really like and snack on that. Try preparing it in new ways with other fruit, a honey lime dressing or yogurt. Give yourself something sweet to look forward to that you know is good for you.

This also applies to destructive habits like watching movies all of the time or staying at home. What things did you used to enjoy? If you like going to the movies with friends, then go to the movies with friends. Don't cut yourself off. It might be hard at first but it will get easier the more that you do it.

Find happiness in small things. It's not just the big things, but buy pens that make you happy. Spend one hour taking a bath with your favorite bubble bath or read your favorite book again. 

Food

Food was my friend -- and it wasn't my friend. It was very hard for me to get out of this habit so I started small: drink water instead of pop, have fruit instead of chocolate, and stop buying candy. I had to replace the habit with something healthier so I had water with Crystal Light in it. I tried new kinds of fruit until I found ones that I really liked -- for me, this was raspberries, mango, pineapple and kiwi. Then I looked forward to the healthy replacements. I had to teach myself to enjoy something that was good for me instead of something that was bad for me. Within a week, I had overcome a lot of psychological issues with this one change. With every following week, it got easier and I started to feel better about what I was eating.

Social

The hardest obstacle for me was getting out of the house. At this time, I was a student so I had to get out of the house for school but I didn't go out for social events. I would often cancel social outings at the last minute because I just wanted to stay at home. I couldn't explain it either and I felt embarrassed but deep down I knew that I had to get out. I started small by having friends over at my apartment. I was in my comfort zone here. Then I was more willing to go out of the house for parties, dates and movies. I took it slow and I have to admit that I am still dealing with this aspect but it will get easier.

I also told my closest friends about my problems. It helps to have people to talk to about how I felt. They encouraged me to get out or they talked me through my hardest moments. It really helped that I could have someone to talk to. I didn't feel alone.

Work or School

Like everyone else, I had deliverables. I had assignments for school and duties at work that I still had to meet. As I said before, I hated the fact that I was still in school but I knew that I had to knuckle down and just do it so I did. The faster I got things done, the faster I would be out of school. Focusing on school work or work actually took my mind off of how I felt at home which helped me greatly.

One thing that I did was to try and find something that I looked forward to at work or school. At school, this could be time in one of my favorite classes. At work, it could be a joke that I told that brought a smile to someone's face. I was a cashier once and every day it made me happy to know that I had helped a customer. These little things may seem every day but if you find something happy in what you do, even if it is that you made it to work on time, you have done one good thing that day.

Time

It took two years to get into a depression, it would take about that long to get out of it. This seems long and arduous but this is really how it looks. It starts with little steps and finding other things that make you happy. You have to keep going with everyday life even though you feel horrible but with time, it will get easier.

Exercise and Weight Loss

Time for yourself is also necessary. As I said, I had a problem with junk food and exercise. So, we got a treadmill and I could start walking in my apartment. I was in my comfort zone but I was doing something that I knew was good for myself. I started losing weight and that became a huge motivator. It started to break down all of the barriers that I had put up and before I knew it, I didn't mind someone taking pictures of me.

I knew that I couldn't run a marathon right away when I started go to back to exercising. Start with small victories like exercising for 30 minutes, 3 days per week. Once you have met that milestone, then add an extra day. Try to do it for longer and try to take the workout up a notch, for example, if you are walking then try a walk/run program for the next 12 weeks. Don't be surprised if you can't do the entire program in 12 weeks though and if you get stuck at one point, spend more time on it. The most important thing is that you stick with it even if you don't see results right away.

Future

Even as I write this post, I am not invulnerable to that dark time. Sometimes, I have a thought that reminds me of that life that I was in. Sometimes I think that it will happen again and I live in fear that something will happen that will cause me to go into another depression. So, I am writing this post about what happened and how I got out of it also to remind myself just in case it happens again, what I can do to get out of it.

Some other suggestions that I found are:

• Get into a community group: this could be a neighborhood clean-up, a book club, a musical group, a local sports team or a political group. It may be hard to leave the house but you will be surrounded by a community. The more you go, the more you become part of that community. You might not say a word to anyone that you are depressed or feeling bad, but just being around other people can heal you.
• Develop or share a hobby: if you are depressed and all you want to do is lose yourself in a hobby, perhaps you could share it with someone else. Or, take a class to learn a new hobby. Hobbies give you something to do and can get you through a dark time. You have to be careful not to spend all of your time on it but it can help you focus on something else. You can also teach your kids your hobbies. This can be frustrating at first, but if they enjoy it like you do you can find yourself starting a scrapbooking or knitting time a few nights a week with your kids. Suddenly you are not alone in your hobby.
• Get excited about an upcoming event for yourself or someone else: this could mean getting excited about your kids going back to school, preparing for an upcoming holiday like Hallowe'en, Thanksgiving or Christmas or someone's wedding or retirement party. Get involved in the planning and do some crafts for it. This gives you something else to focus on that is healthy and takes your mind off of how you feel about yourself.
• Plan a menu: if you hate cooking, cleaning and other household chores during this time, then perhaps you could follow a plan. Search on the web for some meal plans, print them out and follow them for a few weeks. With the meals and grocery lists planned for you, you may notice that you follow them. You try new food, develop new cooking skills and no one is asking what is for supper tonight. You get into a routine that, once you have formed it, is hard to get out of (which is good!). This is a good routine.
• Seek professional help: take the money that you are saving on clothes, junk food and other damaging pursuits and spend it on a therapist or doctor. Tell them everything about how you feel and really listen to their suggestions. Try some of them. You may notice that they either work and you feel much better or they do not work. Find new routines or medications that work for you. I should note though that I didn't take medication to get better and I don't think that you really need to though. I think that you need to address what made you depressed and change those bad habits instead of taking something but it may be necessary for some people.
• Have "weaning" days: just like I did by stopping junk food for one day, stop one bad habit for one day. Pick one that you accidentally acquired during this dark time. It could be as simple as leaving your bank card and credit cards at home for a day. Plan this weaning day out: if you leave your card at home, plan your meals. Plan any temptations where you would usually use those cards so avoid the stores and perhaps take a different route home. Ask yourself if you can do that again tomorrow.
• Attack your to-do list: one thing that drove me nuts was a long to-do list that I was developing during school. This was the pile of papers that I knew that I had to go through, the clothes that I had to get drycleaned or the e-mails that I had to organize. I felt that I just did not have time to address my to-do list and that just infuriated me further. So, take a space of time, even if it is only one hour (you can spare one hour, right?) and attack something. Also, whenever you think of something that you have to do, write it down. I used a computer document so that I didn't accumulate scraps of paper. At least if I couldn't attack the "to do" right away, I could at least write it down so that I didn't forget it. It would be there whenever I had the time to attack it. Schedule a time every day or every week to deal with the to do list and do it. You will find that it feels great to finish something that has been bothering you.
• Stop taking advice as a personal attack: one time, someone told me that I should listen to health podcasts. I got furious and took it as a personal assault as someone telling me that I was fat and had to lose weight -- even though I knew that they were right. I was highly sensitive to anything that someone said to me during this time which was confusing -- I am not normally like that! If you make an effort to attack some of your bad habits, you may notice that you don't take well-meaning advice so personally anymore -- or, not as often. When you can think clearly, take them up on a piece of advice that was given to you. If they told you to look up a website or video, look it up. It may or may not apply to you. It's not going to cause you physical pain to look into the advice that you were given -- unless it was acupuncture or surgery, of course. It can't be that extreme though, right?
• Laugh: find something to laugh about. Laughing feels good and it costs you nothing except moving facial muscles! Check out funny YouTube videos, read the joke section of the newspaper or get a copy of your favorite comic strip book. Talk to friends who tell good jokes or tell some of your own favorite jokes to others.
• Master your deliverables: know how to do your job or your school work. If you are having a problem understanding an issue or concept, research more about it so that you really get it. Go to workshops to develop new skills or hone your existing ones. If you are a parent, then focus on helping your kids develop their skills or taking a parenting class if you doubt yourself. Feel comfortable with your main activities so that you feel like you know what you are doing. Nothing eats at you more than doubting yourself and your deliverables. These are your main activities in life and you want to feel confident that you are doing a good job.
• Worry only about things that you can control: can you control the new laws that the government is passing? Maybe, if you contact your MP or municipal council. Are you worried sick about nuclear war? Well, nothing we can do about that now other than live our lives. Live your life and don't let larger issues worry you too much. Often, you find that you have spent so much time worrying about it that you don't know why you paid attention to it.
• Don't let a failure bring you down: so you gained a pound, you ordered out one night or ate a bag of chips. Put it behind you. You did it but instead of feeling bad go straight to the thought of: why did I do that? Did you have money that was burning a hole in your pocket? Were you in a social situation that pressured you to get chips or order bad food? Could you just say no? Address that instead of punishing yourself. You are only human and you will fail. Failing is ok, picking yourself up again is the right way to deal with it.

10 Things I wish I had done on my wedding day

Well, we all look back and say, "I wish that I had done that!" or "I wish that I had thought of that!". Perhaps these tidbits will help anyone who is about to get married so that they might not forget these things and learn from my mistakes.

1. I wish that I had brought food to the photo session: I feel really bad about this one. One of my matrons of honour was 38 weeks pregnant and she couldn't eat until the reception because I forgot the food in the fridge. We were all a little hungry, but she needed to eat.
2. I wish that I had painted my toenails: I totally forgot that for the garter toss that my dress would be lifted up a bit, that is, enough to expose my toenails. I wish that I had painted them! I thought that I wouldn't need to. No one noticed, but I did.
3. I wish that I had reapplied my make-up before the reception: I didn't reapply the make-up and come the end of the night, my lipstick was gone. I didn't take a look at my hair either. I wish that I had. Not that any pictures didn't turn out right, but I'm a girl. I just want to look good.
4. I wish that I hadn't worn pantyhose: man, I was so happy to get those off. My dress had a built-in corset so that combined with pantyhose did not make me a happy camper. Word of caution: just break in your shoes more.
5. I wish that I had charged my camera battery: the battery was gone taking a picture of me getting into the limo to go to the church. I wish that I had charged that battery, and even had a second one ready (also fully charged) for someone to take pictures at the ceremony, photo shoot and the reception. That sounds like doubling the photographer pictures, but I had to wait 6 weeks for photos from the photographer so at least I would have something on my camera.
6. I wish that I had drank more water that day: along with the wish to bring food, I wish that I had brought water as well. Everyone was so thirsty that day and we really noticed it the day after the wedding.
7. I wish that I had forced myself to get more sleep: as I mentioned in another post, I didn't sleep for two days leading up to the wedding and two days afterwards. I wish that I had taken sleeping pills or something for those days because it really caught up with me the whole week after the wedding.
8. I wish that I had finished a few things well ahead of time: for example, we had a slideshow. I wish that we had finished that (along with some other crafts) at least a month before the wedding instead of at the last minute. It was a stress that we didn't need.
9. I wish that I had spent more time with people at the reception: don't get me wrong, we had an absolutely fabulous reception, but I wish that I had mingled more with guests before the slideshow. Some people had to leave early before we got a chance to sit and talk with them and I feel like I didn't really see them or spend time with them. I'm glad that they were there though!
10. I wish that I had a glass of water at the ceremony: we're only in the church for 30 minutes, right? Well, I had a coughing fit and no water! My mom passed me a cough drop but I had a hard time keeping the cough down and paying attention to the priest so I really wish that I had brought a bottle of water with us. If I didn't use it in the church, I could have referred to point 6 of this list.