Guilt-free Rewards for a Job Well Done

One of my problems with it comes to weight loss is struggling with the idea of rewarding myself for a job well done. It could be that I finally finished a long, arduous project or that I finally did 4 workouts this week. The first thing that I think is: I should reward myself, time for a Coke. Or, a chocolate bar. Or ice cream. 

Well, that just damaged the good chore that I finished. So, I took some time to make a list of guilt-free rewards to give myself for a job well done. I know I am not the only person thinking about this so I will share it with you.

Some of these options require finances but some are also free. What you could do is while you are working towards a goal, decide on the reward that you want to give yourself. Then put aside money for it while you are working towards the goal. For example, as a reward to myself for finishing a large project at work I can save money on the side to get my hair done at the salon. Once the goal is reached, then I can go for a morning of pampering and not worry about the finances.

• A long bubble bath with a yummy scent and candles, perhaps my favorite music in the background
• A mug of steaming hot apple cider or a hot chocolate with marshmellows (the diet kind)
• One uninterrupted evening of doing an activity that I secretly love (like writing)
• Talking on the phone with a best friend or on Skype
• Throw a party with all of your friends -- perhaps a pot luck, movie night, etc.
• One uninterrupted evening (or afternoon) of starting and finishing a project
• Watching a new movie at home. This could mean renting it then giving it the full new movie treatment (for me, this is turning out the lights, stopping all projects and just watching a new movie). 
• Going out to the theatre to see a new movie with friends (or with my husband)
• Have a nice meal at a new restaurant
• One uninterrupted evening of browsing my favorite websites
• Buying and reading a new magazine
• One evening of planning an upcoming event (like Christmas) and planning all of the items that I want to make to decorate the house or give as gifts
• If it's summer, one afternoon sitting and tanning under the sun with a nice book or great music
• Signing up for a class in a topic that I want to learn about (like yoga, knitting, or a language of choice)
• Crossing an activity off of the bucket list (skydiving, rockclimbing, running a 5K, etc.)
• Digging out the old "To Do" list and tackling one of the older ones that you've always said will never get done (ex. organizing the filing cabinet). 
• Reading a new book (or, one of your old favorites)
• Take on a new knitting project or spend an evening knitting
• Take the dog out for a walk in a new area (or put on rollerblades and run with the dog) or to the park
• Learn a new hobby from a friend (or teach a friend how to do one of your hobbies, if they are interested)
• Have a game evening on the Wii, Xbox or whatever you have with the family. See who will win. 
• Return to a hobby that you love but haven't done for a long time (for me, that would be genealogy or cross-stitching)
• Try a new recipe out of a magazine for supper
• Spend an afternoon at the local bookstore -- not buying anything -- but sitting with a coffee, paging through some books to see what is new and checking out the ones that you've always wanted. 
• Spend a lazy afternoon on the couch doing a hobby, snuggling with the kids and the pets
• Watch a movie that was your childhood favorite (perhaps even introduce it to your kids or your husband)
• Trying something new with your significant other (I don't think that I need to elaborate on this one)
• Go for a massage or spa treatment. 
• If you are a woman, try a new makeover on yourself or go and get one at Sephora or another store with that option. 
• Go to bed early or sleep in. Get your significant other involved in this to make sure that you are able to sleep in (or go to bed early) without any distractions. 
• Spend an evening researching a topic that interests you but you've never had time to think about it (like a historical event, a famous person, etc.)
• Get your hair done with color, highlights or a perm. Ask for the full treatment with the scalp massage and special conditioners that most salons do for free and enjoy the trip.

Dealing with Depression

Well, it's about time that I write about this. Many of you may not know this but back in 2007 until about 2009, I was in a mild depression. It was a dark period of my life that I don't look back on with happy thoughts at all. Actually, now when I think about it most of my thoughts center around how I got out of the depression. So here is my confession which I hope will help anyone else who is in a depression.

When I was depressed, I felt awful.

• I didn't want to get out of bed because I couldn't see anything good happening that day.
• I didn't want to leave the house for any activities. I was ashamed of the way that I looked and home was my comfortable place.
• I ate anything that made me feel better, hence the fact that I gained 55 pounds.
• I procrastinated on almost everything because I just didn't want to do anything other than sit, watch TV and eat. I only wanted to do things that made me happy.
• I spent money like there was no end to it. I spent it on things that made me happy like clothes, shoes, food and movies.
• I didn't want to cook or clean, so I ordered out a lot. Hence the weight gain.
• I didn't want anyone to take photographs of me because I felt bad about myself. And this is saying a lot because I am from a very photogenic family.
• I felt like I had no control over some aspects of my life so I tried to regain it. I cut my hair really short (then ended up hating it). I hated the fact that I wasn't done school yet and the fact that I couldn't change it.
• I didn't sleep well and my sleep habits were off the wall. I had stomach aches and other symptoms that appeared out of nowhere. I cried for no apparent reason and I was more emotional than normal. I didn't feel like myself in my own skin.
• I had stronger feelings of rage, anger, and sadness than I had ever had before. I cried over spilled milk on the floor, about a fly in my kitchen or I flew into a rage when I dropped paper on the floor. My emotions were much stronger than ever before. 

After a year, I found myself in a cycle: I was angry at myself so I wanted to feel better, I ate junk food to feel better, I gained weight, and then the cycle started again.

How do you make it end? How do you go back to feeling normal or happy? Well, I am not a doctor or therapist, but here is what I did. I wanted for the cycle to stop but I didn't know how to stop it.

Willpower

The first step is willpower. Have the will to change or stop a habit that was acquired. Start small. For example, if you are ordering often and eating junk food like I was, don't buy anything for one day. Just one day. Drink water, take fruit for snacks and cook supper. I felt awful and I really wanted to buy something but I forced myself not to. That first day is terrible because it didn't feel good thus I wanted to buy junk food more but once that first day was over, it seemed easier. Do it again.

You will need to replace bad habits with good ones to keep yourself happy. For example, my comfy blanket was junk food. I couldn't just take it away and expect for myself to be happy so I had to replace it with something healthier.

Happiness

Address what you are doing to make yourself happy. You know that some of the things that you are doing are not healthy (junk food, not leaving the house, constantly watching movies) so it's time to adopt a healthier happy habit. Find a healthy fruit that you really like and snack on that. Try preparing it in new ways with other fruit, a honey lime dressing or yogurt. Give yourself something sweet to look forward to that you know is good for you.

This also applies to destructive habits like watching movies all of the time or staying at home. What things did you used to enjoy? If you like going to the movies with friends, then go to the movies with friends. Don't cut yourself off. It might be hard at first but it will get easier the more that you do it.

Find happiness in small things. It's not just the big things, but buy pens that make you happy. Spend one hour taking a bath with your favorite bubble bath or read your favorite book again. 

Food

Food was my friend -- and it wasn't my friend. It was very hard for me to get out of this habit so I started small: drink water instead of pop, have fruit instead of chocolate, and stop buying candy. I had to replace the habit with something healthier so I had water with Crystal Light in it. I tried new kinds of fruit until I found ones that I really liked -- for me, this was raspberries, mango, pineapple and kiwi. Then I looked forward to the healthy replacements. I had to teach myself to enjoy something that was good for me instead of something that was bad for me. Within a week, I had overcome a lot of psychological issues with this one change. With every following week, it got easier and I started to feel better about what I was eating.

Social

The hardest obstacle for me was getting out of the house. At this time, I was a student so I had to get out of the house for school but I didn't go out for social events. I would often cancel social outings at the last minute because I just wanted to stay at home. I couldn't explain it either and I felt embarrassed but deep down I knew that I had to get out. I started small by having friends over at my apartment. I was in my comfort zone here. Then I was more willing to go out of the house for parties, dates and movies. I took it slow and I have to admit that I am still dealing with this aspect but it will get easier.

I also told my closest friends about my problems. It helps to have people to talk to about how I felt. They encouraged me to get out or they talked me through my hardest moments. It really helped that I could have someone to talk to. I didn't feel alone.

Work or School

Like everyone else, I had deliverables. I had assignments for school and duties at work that I still had to meet. As I said before, I hated the fact that I was still in school but I knew that I had to knuckle down and just do it so I did. The faster I got things done, the faster I would be out of school. Focusing on school work or work actually took my mind off of how I felt at home which helped me greatly.

One thing that I did was to try and find something that I looked forward to at work or school. At school, this could be time in one of my favorite classes. At work, it could be a joke that I told that brought a smile to someone's face. I was a cashier once and every day it made me happy to know that I had helped a customer. These little things may seem every day but if you find something happy in what you do, even if it is that you made it to work on time, you have done one good thing that day.

Time

It took two years to get into a depression, it would take about that long to get out of it. This seems long and arduous but this is really how it looks. It starts with little steps and finding other things that make you happy. You have to keep going with everyday life even though you feel horrible but with time, it will get easier.

Exercise and Weight Loss

Time for yourself is also necessary. As I said, I had a problem with junk food and exercise. So, we got a treadmill and I could start walking in my apartment. I was in my comfort zone but I was doing something that I knew was good for myself. I started losing weight and that became a huge motivator. It started to break down all of the barriers that I had put up and before I knew it, I didn't mind someone taking pictures of me.

I knew that I couldn't run a marathon right away when I started go to back to exercising. Start with small victories like exercising for 30 minutes, 3 days per week. Once you have met that milestone, then add an extra day. Try to do it for longer and try to take the workout up a notch, for example, if you are walking then try a walk/run program for the next 12 weeks. Don't be surprised if you can't do the entire program in 12 weeks though and if you get stuck at one point, spend more time on it. The most important thing is that you stick with it even if you don't see results right away.

Future

Even as I write this post, I am not invulnerable to that dark time. Sometimes, I have a thought that reminds me of that life that I was in. Sometimes I think that it will happen again and I live in fear that something will happen that will cause me to go into another depression. So, I am writing this post about what happened and how I got out of it also to remind myself just in case it happens again, what I can do to get out of it.

Some other suggestions that I found are:

• Get into a community group: this could be a neighborhood clean-up, a book club, a musical group, a local sports team or a political group. It may be hard to leave the house but you will be surrounded by a community. The more you go, the more you become part of that community. You might not say a word to anyone that you are depressed or feeling bad, but just being around other people can heal you.
• Develop or share a hobby: if you are depressed and all you want to do is lose yourself in a hobby, perhaps you could share it with someone else. Or, take a class to learn a new hobby. Hobbies give you something to do and can get you through a dark time. You have to be careful not to spend all of your time on it but it can help you focus on something else. You can also teach your kids your hobbies. This can be frustrating at first, but if they enjoy it like you do you can find yourself starting a scrapbooking or knitting time a few nights a week with your kids. Suddenly you are not alone in your hobby.
• Get excited about an upcoming event for yourself or someone else: this could mean getting excited about your kids going back to school, preparing for an upcoming holiday like Hallowe'en, Thanksgiving or Christmas or someone's wedding or retirement party. Get involved in the planning and do some crafts for it. This gives you something else to focus on that is healthy and takes your mind off of how you feel about yourself.
• Plan a menu: if you hate cooking, cleaning and other household chores during this time, then perhaps you could follow a plan. Search on the web for some meal plans, print them out and follow them for a few weeks. With the meals and grocery lists planned for you, you may notice that you follow them. You try new food, develop new cooking skills and no one is asking what is for supper tonight. You get into a routine that, once you have formed it, is hard to get out of (which is good!). This is a good routine.
• Seek professional help: take the money that you are saving on clothes, junk food and other damaging pursuits and spend it on a therapist or doctor. Tell them everything about how you feel and really listen to their suggestions. Try some of them. You may notice that they either work and you feel much better or they do not work. Find new routines or medications that work for you. I should note though that I didn't take medication to get better and I don't think that you really need to though. I think that you need to address what made you depressed and change those bad habits instead of taking something but it may be necessary for some people.
• Have "weaning" days: just like I did by stopping junk food for one day, stop one bad habit for one day. Pick one that you accidentally acquired during this dark time. It could be as simple as leaving your bank card and credit cards at home for a day. Plan this weaning day out: if you leave your card at home, plan your meals. Plan any temptations where you would usually use those cards so avoid the stores and perhaps take a different route home. Ask yourself if you can do that again tomorrow.
• Attack your to-do list: one thing that drove me nuts was a long to-do list that I was developing during school. This was the pile of papers that I knew that I had to go through, the clothes that I had to get drycleaned or the e-mails that I had to organize. I felt that I just did not have time to address my to-do list and that just infuriated me further. So, take a space of time, even if it is only one hour (you can spare one hour, right?) and attack something. Also, whenever you think of something that you have to do, write it down. I used a computer document so that I didn't accumulate scraps of paper. At least if I couldn't attack the "to do" right away, I could at least write it down so that I didn't forget it. It would be there whenever I had the time to attack it. Schedule a time every day or every week to deal with the to do list and do it. You will find that it feels great to finish something that has been bothering you.
• Stop taking advice as a personal attack: one time, someone told me that I should listen to health podcasts. I got furious and took it as a personal assault as someone telling me that I was fat and had to lose weight -- even though I knew that they were right. I was highly sensitive to anything that someone said to me during this time which was confusing -- I am not normally like that! If you make an effort to attack some of your bad habits, you may notice that you don't take well-meaning advice so personally anymore -- or, not as often. When you can think clearly, take them up on a piece of advice that was given to you. If they told you to look up a website or video, look it up. It may or may not apply to you. It's not going to cause you physical pain to look into the advice that you were given -- unless it was acupuncture or surgery, of course. It can't be that extreme though, right?
• Laugh: find something to laugh about. Laughing feels good and it costs you nothing except moving facial muscles! Check out funny YouTube videos, read the joke section of the newspaper or get a copy of your favorite comic strip book. Talk to friends who tell good jokes or tell some of your own favorite jokes to others.
• Master your deliverables: know how to do your job or your school work. If you are having a problem understanding an issue or concept, research more about it so that you really get it. Go to workshops to develop new skills or hone your existing ones. If you are a parent, then focus on helping your kids develop their skills or taking a parenting class if you doubt yourself. Feel comfortable with your main activities so that you feel like you know what you are doing. Nothing eats at you more than doubting yourself and your deliverables. These are your main activities in life and you want to feel confident that you are doing a good job.
• Worry only about things that you can control: can you control the new laws that the government is passing? Maybe, if you contact your MP or municipal council. Are you worried sick about nuclear war? Well, nothing we can do about that now other than live our lives. Live your life and don't let larger issues worry you too much. Often, you find that you have spent so much time worrying about it that you don't know why you paid attention to it.
• Don't let a failure bring you down: so you gained a pound, you ordered out one night or ate a bag of chips. Put it behind you. You did it but instead of feeling bad go straight to the thought of: why did I do that? Did you have money that was burning a hole in your pocket? Were you in a social situation that pressured you to get chips or order bad food? Could you just say no? Address that instead of punishing yourself. You are only human and you will fail. Failing is ok, picking yourself up again is the right way to deal with it.

French Girls

While I was in Paris, I was on a quest to see what was so different about French girls versus us girls in North America? For example, why are they absurdly thin when they eat mille feuille? Why do we all want to dress like them and look like them?

Well, first of all, the skinny French girl who eats cream and butter in everything and doesn't get fat is a myth now. The obesity problem that plagues us in North America has crossed the ocean to Europe and beyond so most of the natives that you will see usually eat the same thing that you do. So I had to look harder at the thinner French girls and their habits. I did notice a few things which I found interesting and this was of all French girls of various shapes and sizes.

1. They drink water: I didn't see one French lady with a Coke, only tourists.
2. No snacking: I didn't see a French woman buy something for a snack nor did I see one eating one. I saw them eating their meals but nothing else.
3. Portion control: the meals that they did eat where smaller than the typical meal in North America. If they couldn't eat it all, they didn't stuff it down either. They just didn't eat it.
4. They don't eat that rich food every day: we assume that they do because it is France. Well, they don't. Treats like crème brûlée and other delicious pastries are a weekly treat and they are not huge portions either. The size of a crème brûlée in France compared to one in North America is much smaller. The same is true of croissants and almost everything else -- notably mille feuilles.
5. They don't eat fast: I'm serious--I eat slow. In France, my plate was gone before half of theirs was. They seemed to eat less than me too. They are not part of the "clean plate" club either, that is, finishing every morsel that was on the plate. If they can't eat it all, then they don't.
6. They eat real food: there was no processed food here. I am serious, there were no aisles of Mr. Noodles, Sidekicks and Kraft Dinner. I did see frozen French fries but I don't count that. Everywhere we went, there was fresh veggies, fruit and meat. There was some candy and pop in the grocery store but only the tourists bought it. The ladies were going around with baguettes, cheese, ham and lettuce. No preservatives, no nothing -- just the real food.
7. They walk to get to where they are going: unless they need to take the RER (metro) if it is too far, then they walk. They think nothing of walking around for awhile. They walk along the Seine and sit and relax for awhile. They walk to the market for a coffee, even if it is out of the way -- why not? Also, if they were not walking, they are biking. Or running. We saw lots of them getting a morning workout while we walked to the Louvre.
8. They are not on time: we North Americans seem to be very precise with our timing: if we say 9am, you need to be there at 8:45am and everyone understands that. No, not here. We find it frustrating but the French take their time, not your time.
9. They wear scarves before adding a coat or a sweater: why get out the heavy, puffy coat if the weather is 5 degrees colder? You'd be surprised how warm you are just by wrapping a pretty scarf around your neck.
10. They wear classics: the girls that I saw were wearing simple v-necks or sweaters (usually in two layers), jeans or pants and the scarf mentioned above. For coats, it was trench coats or pea coats. They were not covered in logos, patterns or screen-printed t-shirts. There was one patterned item (the scarf for example) which matched everything else they were wearing. They wear a lot of black knee-length boots too.
11. They are relaxed: if you haven't noticed by now, I've mentioned how they eat slow and walk everywhere. I saw ladies taking a stroll next to the Seine too - not just running it but also walking casually without a care in the world. I didn't see one stressed out French woman during my trips -- cashiers and tour guides included.
12. They drink wine: in addition to water, they drink wine. Good wine too and it's so cheap in France. They took their time while they drank it with friends.
13. They don't take photos of every little thing: us tourists, we were snapping away while they perused and looked around. They took the pictures that mattered and perhaps that is better. They spent more time enjoying what they were seeing then stressing about photographs. What, you think the only people at museums in Paris were tourists?
14. They do something in the evening: and that something usually requires walking or biking there. I don't think that they sit in front of the TV for hours on end.
15. They don't all wear French perfume -- or perfume at all: we assume that if the perfume is made in France, they must all wear it. Well, they don't. That doesn't mean that they smell bad but they smell like clean soap -- not overpowering. I stood behind enough of them to notice.
16. If you are in their way, they will tell you: oh yes, if you step out of line, you will know it. Some of them swear at you, some are polite and say pardon as they pass you. Some let loose a tirade as they pass you. 

Wedding finances

So how much does a wedding cost? And people always say that there are last minute expenses, but if you are a bride you aren't really sure what they are. Here is an approximate list of what we paid (in Canadian dollars) and what we learned. This list may not be complete as some people buy things that others do not think are necessary. But here is how I viewed it.

The necessities:

1. Marriage license: you will need this. Expect for it to cost between $100 to $200. The price is regulated in each province and state. Mine was $122.
2. Reception: depending on how you do it, budget it at about $50 per head. This may or may not include the price of the room before the meal.
3. Officiant: again, it depends but count on about $200 for the officiant and the church unless you live in a city and you are having a wedding at a cathedral or basilica. You may also have to pay for the officiant and the ceremony venue separately.
4. Musician: this could run you at between $100 to $300 for the ceremony. If you have an organist and a musician, this will double.
5. Photographer: count on $800 for the lowest packages (ceremony and photo shoot) and then it will go up.
6. Photo venue: you may or may not have to pay a fee for your photo session location.
7. Wedding dress: start your budget around $700. Mine was $1100 and it included alterations, storage, rebeading and steaming. 
8. Hair and make-up: I didn't have my make-up done, but I did have my hair done professionally. Expect for it to cost between $100 and $200.
9. Attendant gifts: depending on what you want to give your attendants, you should always give them something. If you spend $50 on each attendant and you have three girls and three boys, this is $300.
10. Paperterie: programs, invitations, thank you cards, and any other paper items that you want to use like signage, menus, name cards, etc. The paper costs money but you don't need to buy invitations made for weddings as they cost 10 times as much. If you make it yourself, you will save tons of money. The average price I found for buying paper items was $900-$1200 whereas mine was less than $300 for everything.
11. Flowers: depending on which flower package you choose, this will run you from $300 to $1200 or more.
12. Transportation: how will you get from point A to point B? I rented a limo which cost $800 for the day. You could also rent an antique car or have other options. Expect for it to run you between $500 to $1000 for the day.
13. Decorating: after you decide on how you want to decorate the church and reception (or more venues) you have to go about paying for it through a decorating company or you do it yourself. I kept things extraordinarily simple because my venues spoke for themselves and didn't need decorating. I paid about $100 total for decorating.
14. Favours for guests: again, this will depend on your wedding theme or colors. I made candies and gave them out in decorated Chinese takeout boxes. We made them ourselves and it cost about $250 for the ribbon, boxes, paper, maple syrup, filling and wax paper.

Some items you may already have:

1. Shoes to wear in your wedding dress: wear a pair of comfortable shoes. You will be on them all day until the reception. They should match the dress but you don't need to spend a lot of money on a new pair of strappy sandals. 
2. The groom's attire: it depends, of course. Some men rent their suit, but we got lucky. The groom will need a suit, shirt, tie, and shoes. It is possible that he already has some of this. 
3. Accessories: the jewelry that the bride wants to wear, a shawl if it gets cold, and a purse to carry around that day.
4. Manicures: all girls love manicures and pedicures but we have an army of beauty products at home. You could do them at home to save money or spend about $40 per person. It's up to you.
5. Attendants clothing: we were lucky that we didn't have to pay for the bridesmaid's dresses or the groomsmen's tuxes. I did buy ties for the guys so that they all had the same color tie but we saved money here. Some people want to buy all of that for their party (I did at first) and that is fine.
6. Make-up: also listed below in unexpected expenses but you might already have good make-up that you can apply yourself for your big day. I did but I did buy a long-lasting lipstick and waterproof mascara.

The unexpected expenses:

1. Food for the day of the wedding: that is, breakfast, lunch and a snack. Is it made at the house? Are you getting something on route? Or are you buying a veggie tray and taking it with you?
2. Also, Food, in general: you will eat during your meetings with the vendors if they are at a coffee shop. During the wedding week, keep a couple $20s in your wallet to cover this.
3. Long-lasting make-up: I thought that my regular make-up was good enough but believe me, get the long-lasting lipstick, waterproof mascara and eyeliner. Use blush and foundation. The point isn't to look super made-up but for it not to fade.
4. Photo development: is your photographer developing your photos or do you get a CD of photos that you have to develop? I put aside $200 for that.
5. Scrapbooking: well, you might not be into scrapbooking but if you are, you might want to consider the following items: a scrapbook (or two, or three) for the wedding, scrapbooking paper, scrapbooking stickers or embellishments, acid-free pen for journalling, and the photos.
6. Cash bar at the reception: that was for everyone else, right? No. It includes you too.
7. Honeymoon night: where are you staying? do you have a hotel room? And if you booked one, you still need to feed yourself while you are there too.
8. Gas in the car: you'd be surprised how this takes up money while you are going around running wedding errands. 
9. Bachelorette Party: depending on what you have planned, you may buy food or other items. I spent $350 at my bachelorette party--I won't say on what.
10. Craft items: if you are making things yourself, you may notice that you keep buying double-sided tape rollers, acid-free pens, and other items. You may also need scissors, an eraser, pencils, glue dots and other craft items.
11. Postage: you will need stamps to send most of your invitations and then again for your thank you notes. Depending on how many you are sending, this could set you back at least $100. You may also want to note that if your invitation package is heavy with lots of paper in it, you may have to weigh each one of them as the stamp might not be enough.
12. The Bride's Kit: any of the items in the bride's kit that you don't already have (or, can't find and don't care if you buy another one).

The extras:

1. Travel: do you have to fly to and from your wedding? We did so plane tickets were a factor along with additional expenses like meals and taxi fare.
2. Spa treatments: you can indulge in a spa treatment before or after your wedding day. Some people do: I wish that I had.
3. Gifts for your parents: our gift to our parents was a slideshow with photos that we had scanned from their photo albums but you may want to buy something special for your parents on this day.
4. Hair and make-up for your mom: I paid for my mom's hair and make-up on that day so that she didn't have to stress about it. She looked really great too!
5. Manicures and pedicures: as I mentioned above, you may already have some of these items in your arsenal of beauty products. If not, you, your girls and your mom could all go for manicures and pedicures. Expect for it to set you back at least $50 per person but it's a really nice treat. It helps you destress too!

10 things I learned from my wedding

Well, I just got married and now I have lots of interesting tidbits to share with you. Some of you will laugh at this, but I thought that all I had to do was walk down the aisle and smile. I learned some new things on that day. This is for all of you girls who want to get married some day!

1. That wedding dress is HOT: Ok, if you are getting married in a poufy dress like I did, you will be very warm under that dress. It felt like I was wearing four wool sweaters over my legs the whole time. I wasn't cold at all despite the fact that it was a Fall day.
2. You will cry: I kept saying that I wouldn't cry at my wedding and I couldn't understand why brides did. Well, I did. Almost the whole evening. I cried that the food was so good, or during the speeches. I cried during the slideshow and during pictures. I laughed so hard that I cried.
3. Your wedding dress will not be clean: seriously, just try keeping that dress clean. It is impossible. People step on it and leave their shoe marks, you drag it on the ground and the flower petals leave stains on it. Your dress will not be clean unless you have walk around with a personal dry cleaner.
4. Bring food to the photo session: in all of the rush, we forgot to bring food with us and there was five hours between the ceremony and the reception. I regretted that in my post on what I would have done differently. Seriously, bring food. Everyone is hungry.
5. Your reception list will change: I had to submit a head count for my reception but even then, some people cancel at the last minute or some decide that they will go after the fact. 
6. Do all of the fun stuff at the beginning of the reception: when you plan a reception, do all of the fun stuff during the first two to three hours. We had our meal and then had the speeches, attendant gifts and a slideshow. At that point, anyone who went to bed early or had to go home to their kids left but still had a fabulous time leaving the rest of us hooligans to dance and mingle around. We all had fun, but don't plan the fun stuff at 11pm.
7. You will not sleep for days - before and after the wedding: I seriously couldn't sleep for two days before the wedding because my brain would not shut off, then (surprisingly) I couldn't sleep for two days after the wedding either! It was such a big event that my brain was still processing everything that had happened during those nights.  
8. Expect the unexpected: I thought that I had planned everything but my wedding started 15 minutes late because we were waiting on some very important guests. Just go with it. Everything still turned out fine. Expect a few bumps and don't take it personally.
9. Nothing will be perfect, either: don't expect for your make-up and hair to still look perfect 5 hours later, that is, after the ceremony and photo shoot. Some things won't stay in place (like bobby pins or your veil) and some things you'll just have to take off (like your shoes). I went barefoot for the entire reception.
10. It is the busiest, most stressful, and most enjoyable day of your life: I have never had such a good day in my life. I had the most fun anyone could ever have in a single day. I laughed, I cried, I jumped for joy.